Love: Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would...

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 469

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/01/2010 10:16 - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 807

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 273

You deserved it 30 179

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 901

You deserved it 6 012

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 890

You deserved it 58 053

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 71 132

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 737

You deserved it 3 577

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 916

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 426

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 733

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 920

You deserved it 23 214

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 22 July 2011 2:26

Look's like he scared you pissless.

KattAlex 4

Friday 22 July 2011 2:27

I can't stop laughing at the picture that this put in my head.

Comments

mjhcc 6

Friday 22 July 2011 5:04

Lmao. Sounds like my bf & me :)

Stephielovesyouu 0

Friday 22 July 2011 5:06

did you clean it up ?

_imipurpleninja_ 0

Friday 22 July 2011 5:07

Wow that is so not true. Girls do wear pants not just dress and skirts.

biode 0

Friday 22 July 2011 5:10

Lolz thts good xD

steierr 7

Friday 22 July 2011 5:14

have u ever heard of locks ?

morrigan_le_feye 0

Friday 22 July 2011 5:15

You deserve to be covered in piss if you actualy thought that movie was scary.

rayrayray23 1

Friday 22 July 2011 5:18

that movie wasn't even scary!!!! i laughed at it(:

chelseaaababyyy 17

Friday 22 July 2011 5:19

that movie scared the shit out of me ! lol

kduubb 7

Friday 22 July 2011 5:20

umm how old are yu? ... that movie wasn't even scary !

FMLx1oooooo 0

Friday 22 July 2011 5:22

wow that left an awkward visual in my mind... :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 789

You deserved it 16 307

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 469

You deserved it 2 292

Today, I took my kids to our local swimming pool. When we arrived, there were several cop cars parked outside and a group of officers interrogating a creepy, haggard-looking old man who was in handcuffs on the bench. As we got closer, I realized the man was my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 135

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 031

You deserved it 32 170

Today, my mom had been in a really bad mood. She got in the car to take me to work, and without thinking, started backing up. The garage door was only half open, and now has a huge dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 105

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 059

You deserved it 16 592

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 2 202