Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my usual parents. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Welp, you have no choice but to stage your own exorcism, writhe around on the floor, and pretend to be rid of that cursed demon.
Laphog 17
You should be glad he didn't use any of the other methods Sam and Dean have tried over the years .
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Comments (45)
Jakuri 12
<p>I'm really curious to know what you were eating or drinking prior that made smoke come out of your mouth. ....funny as hell though. XD</p>
jyessss 0
That kids way too old to get that scared
NuttyProfessor 7
<p>Quick! Go grab some split pea soup for the Encore!</p> <p> </p>
rissa5214 14
He said he went outside
caliguy08 17
That's one way to babysit
soulreaper12296 28
Who said they were smoking with the kid? Maybe OP stepped outside for like 30 seconds and then came back in.
amelitaliz 22
It doesn't sound like the smoked around the 11 year old, just did right before coming in to watch the show. They may have been smoking weed, not cigarettes. I have acid reflux and sometimes a few minutes after I enjoy a bowl, I burp up smoke like some kind of dumbass dragon. Here's to hoping it's not cigs :) though of course, to each their own. ✌️
LonelyAngel22 13
<p>One of the few FMLs that genuinely made me giggle out loud.</p>
gusrick 20
<p>This is not bad at all, actually this is amazing. <img src="../lib/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-laughing.gif" alt="laughing" /></p>
TelephoneChoir 10
That gullible at eleven? I was obsessed with Supernatural when I was ten and I don't remember ever being like that... Either way, if they're like that, you shouldn't have let them watch it.