By NYM88 - 17/12/2015 18:34 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 486
You deserved it 2 355

NYM88 tells us more.

OP here. Firstly for those who automatically assumed my coworker was a male, you've made an ass out of you and supposedly me too. Secondly for those saying that they shouldn't have done the Heimlich maneuver and should have hit me on the back.. You've again made assumptions based on a lack of information. Unfortunately you are limited to the amount of characters your FML can be composed of so I had to leave out details. My coworker she first asked me if I could breathe, when I shook my head no, she gave a few thrusts with her palm to my back between the shoulder blades and when that failed to dislodge the candy she told me she was going to perform the Heimlich maneuver and I nodded and when she did she got it out in the first try thankfully and my ribs I think are still a bit tender from, I'd guess, bruising. And to those that said thankfully I'm alive.. Thanks, I am glad I am too even though cleaning up wasn't something I was glad about!

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Top comments

Hey at least you're alive

I would rather that then choke to death


Hey at least you're alive

Yeah, at least your coworker's give a shit........ *ba dum tss*

Well that has to suck, but definitely preferable to dieing but not shitting your pants.

Why are people down voting this?

You shit your pants when you die.

hmrhoades 18

Shit from your bowels? Where else would it come from?

For some people, quite a lot comes from their mouths.

Well that's a shitty way to have your life saved.

I would rather that then choke to death

You would rather have all of that happen and then to add insult to injury (or maybe injury to insult), choke to death?!?!

you really messed up on this one.

tantanpanda 26

To clarify, she would prefer to be saved from choking, then choke again, but die the second time.

All I can think of when I read this is the scene in Family Guy where Jerome performs the Heimlich Maneuver on Lois very sexually...

courtzzz23 17

you. I like you

At least you're still alive and breathing

It could've been worse. At least it's didn't happen the other way around.

How? Choke on her shit and free up her stomach?!

Well that *sucks* Haha puns

No, just stop.

A little bit of embarrassment in exchange for being alive, I think that's worth it. It's unfortunate that happened, but at least you're still alive