Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep, they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ZombieInConverse 13
Best friends are like enemies except treat you a hell of a lot worse.
Faff 20
if your FML starts with 'after a night of heavy drinking', you know nobody's going to have sympathy for you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
Debragga99 6
Are you still handcuffed?
Epikouros 32
I'm in the Netherlands, too, OP. Tell me your address and I'll come and rescue you. BTW, is the 20 in your nick your age? And do you have a nice ass?
BananerzFresh 12
Well it could have been worse. I mean your mom could have just so happene to stop by.
needsagf14 12
Well at least you weren't naked, right?
vbmg152 19
Heavy drinking? YDI
Rhian00 17
I'm guessing you're out now? How would you post this otherwise? How did you get out? :)
LiquidPeppermint 6
How, exactly, are you typing this, then?
Xotoolyxo 16
Karma's a bitch(:
loldatssad 12
I suppose it's possible to type a FML simultaneously being handcuffed to a bed. Interesting ;)
pastispast 7
choose your drinking buddies wisely.