Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife doesn't remember that last night when she was so drunk (light weight) that she kept telling me to pick up the thingy off the floor and was pointing at it. We went back and forth about it for a few minutes. There was nothing there. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML
Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Emrysa 1
Tell her since she thinks old things are usless, you're going to toss her in the trash if she keeps aging.
sweetdreams999 0
lmao wow you wife must really not be a drinker.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (184)
caleb_m91 1
wow so many alcohol haters in here. have you guys got no friends to party with ? don't get drunk just have fun. drink responsibly. :D beer for me. if not anything will do.
The1AndAnonymous 2
why is the rum gone!?
usmc2016 0
blonde moment
TwoStrikeBadAss 0
I don't get people who want to drink rotten alcohol ... WTF???
lawlatyourfml 0
NOOOOO!!!!! what an idiot. all you morons saying alcohol is (insert whatever) i guarantee you can't hold it down! *******
RedInThaHead 0
bitch!!!!!!!!
sterrizzill 0
yikes! I'm going to go drink all my scotch right now before something bad like that happens to it!
nickjackgreene 2
kill her and sell her organs for scotch-money
avenged7xforever 0
ydi for having a dumbass wife
alfiozm 0
for all you people that think drinking sucks...you on crack