Injury, Ironic and Health: Thin skinned

Thin skinned

By cbad - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 149

You deserved it 48 762

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Top comments

Awahso 25

Monday 30 January 2012 18:57

Better not do infomercials.

Ins_Knie 2

Monday 30 January 2012 18:58

For every foolproof invention a bigger fool emerges and proves it wrong...

Comments

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 30 January 2012 23:13

Oh, the irony...

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 30 January 2012 23:21

You can't. Try it again.

paperroll880 16

Monday 30 January 2012 23:23

Hahaha. What a dork

matt_mcg 2

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:46

Dork..? Really?

tarametcalf94 4

Monday 30 January 2012 23:36

Dumb ass

tehdarkness 21

Monday 30 January 2012 23:41

You're doing it wrong!!

RokNRoll11 9

Monday 30 January 2012 23:45

Well, at least your bet wasn't you couldn't cut your hand off. Right?

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:01

You will be the creator of the "Incredible Ginzu Spork!" (Go on & get rich, girl!)

fuzzybear14 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:03

...fail

ballinjordin 1

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:04

Whos in the Super Bowl?

SukiIzumi 8

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:09

That is fail. It's just like saying you can't cut yourself with a butter-knife, and you can.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Money Birthday Cute Kids Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education Parents School Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 81

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 658

You deserved it 3 488

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 726

You deserved it 2 722

Today, I found out via Facebook that my older sister just had another baby, a whole week ago, whose name is my middle name. No one told me. I didn't even know she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 384

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 355

You deserved it 4 195

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 1 473

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 312

You deserved it 2 283