Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.
PhoenixLE 0
You're a moron. YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (797)
Radiation_fml 0
Why is this a FML? You deserved it 100%. I hope you got arrested too.
tthreat23 0
People still shop lift?
Person_Man 0
LOL! i did the same as #10
BamBam_17 0
Yeah... You deserved that one. Sorry, I hate it when pepole steal :/
lalosaa 0
hah, wow, you completely deserved that one.
brillopod 0
Are you guys seriously doing this? While I agree that this person was acting in a foolish and immoral manner, and that they got exactly what they deserved, I cannot believe so many people are blaming him/her for the dowfall of the economy. Really? Really?! You believe that shoplifting is the reason our financial situation is so dire? Are you insane? And to whoever posted comment #120; do you honestly think it would be fair for someone to go to jail for LIFE because they tried to steal a shirt? Are you that insensitive? And to the poster of comment #126; yeah, perfect. Because this person not having a job will SURELY stop them from stealing again. You asshat.
yumyum_isacult 0
wow. stealing a shirt. what an idiot. hey you tell em #172
Toxic_John 0
#167 its an FML because he was an idiot fo shop liftin
grandmasattack 0
I hope you got arrested you dirty bastard
Talkative1 0
Stealing. GOD. Just think about where that came from. Probably China in a sweatshop with child laborers is what. Stealing from that store is just like stealing money from the workers- whether they be underpaid, under aged, illegal, etc. If you want a damned shirt so badly make it yourself rather than cheating people of well earned money. And not to mention- but WHY in the HELL would you even ADMIT to that while still in the store? Or try to suck up to someone? You totally deserved it.