Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.
PhoenixLE 0
You're a moron. YDI.
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Comments (797)
SamiPhiladelphia 0
Lol,apparently FML is full of uptight high ciddity *****. The guy shoplifted,so what? MORE POWER TO THEFT.
_pk_ 0
LOL, apparently FML is full of pathetic losers who think shoplifting makes them tough and cool.
Talkative1 0
#177, you obviously aren't grown up enough to understand how bad stealing is. Only stupid, heartless, self centered, lowlifes steal because they have no idea what it does to people around them. Stealing is like cheating on a college acceptance exam. Riding on the coattails of someone else will only get you so far. And riding on their coattails in general just leaves you still behind them. There is no point. Except to feed one's ignorant and self centered ways. Which is something that no one supports no matter how hard you try to debate about it.
awalkb 0
why would you ever admit that?
lara522 0
oh poor, poor you. I was shoplifting so when I talked to someone else, I automatically assumed they were stealing too, but it turns out they were the manager. YDI
cucuto89 0
how many of you have NOT stolen music before?
Howdyplz 2
I haven't, ass. That could be mostly because 3 people I go to school with have had their IP address traced after downloading through Limewire, and all have been fined. But the fact that people steal music does'nt justify OP shoplifting. It's dumb and dumber.
npk1112 0
OP... you are a worthless pathetic person, END OF STORY.
deathproof_fml 0
Did you actually think people wouldn't say you deserved that? You're a moron.
lalalala1234 0
wow wow YDI YDI YDI
Amkii 0
.....that's why you don't steal. And that is ESPECIALLY why you don't admit to it. Jeez.