Today, I have to close my bedroom door with a bucket because I don't have a door latch thanks to previous owners. When my partner and I were going at it, we had to stop because the cat kept reaching around the door, trying to attack the bucket and destroying the mood. Cat 1 - Humans 0. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML
Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML
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Top comments
rivenrock 14
Either buy a door latch or put some thing heavy in the bucket so it will stop the door opening enough for the cat to put its paw through.
ScarletteEve 33
Out of curiosity, how did you use a bucket to close a door?..
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Comments (11)
species4872 20
Sooo, that's what all that noise was next door.
eyepuppy 31
I read that as, "When my parents and I were going at it." Definitely makes this fml darker. Anyhow, fyl op.
ScarletteEve 33
Out of curiosity, how did you use a bucket to close a door?..
rebeccac12 18
the weight of the bucket against the door could hold it shut. it probably wasnt too heavy if a cat was able to push it
ScarletteEve 33
If there was no door latch, did they just hang over the top then?
Manual_Manoosy 21
Exactly - if only there was something they could have put or poured into the bucket to weigh it down so that a cat couldn't move it...
Glowworm56 27
"Come on, Kitty! I don't attack the bucket when you're trying to get some! Be reasonable!"
rivenrock 14
Either buy a door latch or put some thing heavy in the bucket so it will stop the door opening enough for the cat to put its paw through.
bigred121970 10
I have a cat. Although he doesn't do that he stares. That ruins it too. It creeps me out when I'm having sex and the cat keeps staring at you from the foot of the bed.
sweetbliss3 37
either you just got this cat so you're not used to them or the sex sucks. if you're able to focus on things other then how you feel there's a problem.
Manual_Manoosy 21
How did the cat reach around a closed door?
Sammeydw 22
If the door doesn't close properly the cat will be able to push / claw the door open so it's paw can get through. My cat does this too if I sleep in too late and don't feed her breakfast on her schedule.
_sonny_ 3
I usually just let the cat in. Half the time the cat gets on the bed with us and just goes to sleep while we are going at it. They don't care, so, why should you? :))
KIEdekka 14
Yet another reason why i hat cats.