Intimate moments: The best method!

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 966

You deserved it 942

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Same thing different taste

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 963

You deserved it 15 166

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 9 729

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 797

You deserved it 9 989

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 48 544

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 670

You deserved it 13 287

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 856

You deserved it 68 135

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 412

You deserved it 3 571

By anonymous - 13/11/2015 00:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 289

You deserved it 3 942

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 199

You deserved it 42 471

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 225

You deserved it 12 602

Susan Yee 9

Saturday 4 January 2020 19:23

Tell him, that you will give him anal first.

mekiswrite 21

Sunday 5 January 2020 0:14

Tell him that what he gets to do to you, you get to do to him.

Comments

Talented73 54

Monday 6 January 2020 21:06

Q: If a stork brings babies, what kind of bird NEVER brings babies? A: A swallow.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 7 January 2020 4:02

This would have been funnier were it not for your typo. And the fact that the joke is really old.

ojosRojos 28

Tuesday 7 January 2020 15:07

It’s a no from me, dawg.

lexxiasaurus 27

Tuesday 21 January 2020 21:05

it's really not as bad as you think

Hangryko 29

Monday 24 October 2022 18:05

Here's a better method: Dump him.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 420

You deserved it 46 454

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 31 876

The Top

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 498

You deserved it 32 006

Today, my psychiatrist of 6 years suddenly and out of nowhere told me I need to see someone else. She gave me the equivalent of the "it's not you it's me' speech." Actually her assistant told me via email. I basically got broken up with by someone I was paying a lot of money to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 114

Today, a self check-in hotel charged me 50 bucks for an iPad charger I allegedly stole. On the security footage I can be seen removing a charger. It was my own charger that I'd plugged in because the iPad for the check-in didn't work and the charger was missing. I even contacted the helpline about it, which can be seen on the footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 85

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 215

You deserved it 4 014

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 360

You deserved it 30 785

Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 527

You deserved it 358