Today, I was trying to go for a number two while drying my hair so that my boyfriend wouldn't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML
Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
heyLaddieHey 18
If you aren't comfortable enough to poop in the bathroom, you aren't comfortable enough to live together/have sleepovers.
oathkeeper99 31
Surely he realises you're human and you're gonna poop sometimes? My boyfriend and I often make poop jokes or chat to each other whilst on the toilet, just means we're comfortable with each other. Unless your relationship is still pretty new, you should probably be comfortable pooping in the same house as him, or at least not ashamed enough that you have to pretend you're doing something else!
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Comments (40)
heyLaddieHey 18
If you aren't comfortable enough to poop in the bathroom, you aren't comfortable enough to live together/have sleepovers.
Sia_Will 13
Sometimes that's a little early for that. They could be in the beginning of their relationship and not very comfortable with all that bathroom stuff just yet. But I'm sure her boyfriend was not grossed out by that if he truly loves her.
TheMathMajor 26
I mean, people sleep over as one night stands. I'm thinking it's just a new relationship. I don't think it's that big of a deal if they've already started sleeping over.
NeatNit 33
You guys have got it all wrong. OP is embarrassed about the hair dryer, and tried to hide it with the constant sounds of farting and straining. And probably burping too to fill in the gaps.
ChopSuey444 20
That's all good and well but you're making a lot of assumptions. OP never said they live together. And even if they do, all relationships are different. I mean honestly watch King of The Hill. I know it's just a TV show but men like Hank Hill exist. There's an episode where his wife takes the bathroom door off the hinges and he freaks out.
5secondsofvvifi 21
OP could have some form of anxiety, this is something similar to what I've done before. I have social anxiety, and lucky for me, that comes with 'toilet anxiety'. I've lived with my family for several years and I still get anxious about peeing if someone's near the bathroom. Public bathrooms are absolute nightmares.
Tyler_Posey 18
You could've just told him not to enter
chosha_fml 27
He probably only entered because he heard the hairdryer and figured it was okay.
oathkeeper99 31
Surely he realises you're human and you're gonna poop sometimes? My boyfriend and I often make poop jokes or chat to each other whilst on the toilet, just means we're comfortable with each other. Unless your relationship is still pretty new, you should probably be comfortable pooping in the same house as him, or at least not ashamed enough that you have to pretend you're doing something else!
sutima 23
I once stood in the doorway of the bathroom talk to my girlfriend as she was pooping a few minutes in she goes, "wait, are eating chips". I look down and realise that I was holding a bowl of chips, and nomming them while talking to my pooping girlfriend ;p Sure is nice to be comfortable with once partner
abNormal62 23
Multi-tasking at its finest No ifs, ands or butts!
deguwrangler 7
A hairdryer in a bathroom...?
ksuth 25
What is questionable about that?
Bubbilility 27
Maybe #5 is fancy and has a separate toilet and bathroom? But then the question would be 'going to the toilet in the bathroom?!?'
hoosierholla 17
Where else would it be?
fakedsincerity 32
idk where #5 is from but my house doesn't have electrical sockets in the bathroom (in the UK) so for a second I thought "that's weird" but then realised in places like the US or just newer houses in general have them. I have to dry/straighten/whatever my hair in my bedroom. (:
dannidoll93 24
Nothing wrong with wanting to keep the romance alive by being a bit mysterious about your bathroom habits! I am a bit worried about the power outlet in the bathroom though? Be careful OP.
viperAUS 15
my house bathrooms have power outlet nothing wrong with it
ladycoco8 20
I thought all bathrooms had outlets? Where else do you plug in your hot tools, or your electric toothbrush or your razor?!
dannidoll93 24
Ah, alright. I'm from England and we don't have that here.
domolovesyoshi 33
Yeah we definitely don't have power outlets in bathrooms here
LennyComa 39
Everybody poops. as long as he didn't freak and isn't one of those guys that believes girls don't poop, this will be a funny story between the two of you.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Flashnews for you OP, men now know that women poop.
anyagrande 31
Heya, i would always run the tap when im at someones house and need to poop. If you're in a new relationship then its okay to not be completely comfortable around each other yet- but if you've been dating for quite a few months then id just go ahead and tell him to play music when you go to poop if you don't want him to hear you- guys really aren't grossed out by the fact that girls poop (unless he's a lil bitch- then id suggest reevaluating your relationship)- everyone poops!
NeatNit 33
Running the tap is a terrible waste of clean water and raises the water bill that your host will pay for. Please don't do that.
NoThanks999 19
He probably walked in because the heat collided with the poop and he wanted to air out the bathroom/see where it came from.