Today, I was trying to go for a number two while drying my hair so that my boyfriend wouldn't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML
Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
heyLaddieHey 18
If you aren't comfortable enough to poop in the bathroom, you aren't comfortable enough to live together/have sleepovers.
oathkeeper99 31
Surely he realises you're human and you're gonna poop sometimes? My boyfriend and I often make poop jokes or chat to each other whilst on the toilet, just means we're comfortable with each other. Unless your relationship is still pretty new, you should probably be comfortable pooping in the same house as him, or at least not ashamed enough that you have to pretend you're doing something else!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (40)
Zmanryan3 9
Why do people alway worry about people knowing you went number 2. Everyone does it it nothing to be ashamed of.
Zmanryan3 9
Why do people get so worried about other people knowing that you went number 2. Everyone does it, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
asdfghjklmoo 15
I know that everyone poops, and I'm sure OP does too. But I still get nervous about how it sounds when I'm in a public bathroom at school or at the mall. I have a shy bladder, I can't pee or poop when I know people can hear it's from me. So I have to stick my fingers in my ears and pretend nobody is around to go. :| OP, I suggest you just tell your boyfriend to watch a funny video or two while you go!
DizzyDreamer90 15
Don't worry girl, if he's worth keeping around he's gonna hear it eventually, and vice versa. Plus there's nothing wrong with being time efficient =P
False_Stupidity 42
That kind of backfired on you OP since he probably thought it was safe to walk in because he could hear the hair dryer and just got more than he bargained for.
CaaaaattttLady 13
This is so great!:)
SteveDudleyUK 10
I fail to see the tissue here.
dracolich 27
Does not sound like you're mature enough to be in a long term relationship. Sucks that he walked on you when you clearly wanted privacy though.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Um...everyone poops. I don't get why some men freak out and get grossed out when women poop and/or fart. Everyone does it. And OP, honestly, if you're that concerned about it, maybe you're not with the right person. I'm curious to know how he reacted!
mytime654321 9
One word, SKILLZ.