Today, I was trying to go for a number two while drying my hair so that my boyfriend wouldn't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML
Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
heyLaddieHey 18
If you aren't comfortable enough to poop in the bathroom, you aren't comfortable enough to live together/have sleepovers.
oathkeeper99 31
Surely he realises you're human and you're gonna poop sometimes? My boyfriend and I often make poop jokes or chat to each other whilst on the toilet, just means we're comfortable with each other. Unless your relationship is still pretty new, you should probably be comfortable pooping in the same house as him, or at least not ashamed enough that you have to pretend you're doing something else!
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Comments (40)
cho_bee 9
There's nothing wroing with the sound of you drying your hair. Oh wait, it was the other way around. On the other hand, you could have been electrocuted in some freakish accident and been nominated dor a Darwin Award.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I'm curious, are the walls so thin, you can hear him when he takes a dump? And assuming you live with him, why do you feel uncomfortable taking a dump with him in the house? If you live with him, you're gonna have to learn to get comfortable, not ******** in front of him, but doing it when he's present in the house.
Natalie Andruchow 4
How would he hear you taking a shit?