Health, Sports, ACAB and Cops: Suspect

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 390

You deserved it 2 848

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Same thing different taste

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 4 474

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 175

You deserved it 2 890

Cliché for real

By fuckinghicks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 17 700

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 342

You deserved it 4 226

Help yourself

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Westwood

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 2 140

Sigma mindset

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 890

You deserved it 5 627

Renegade

By Anonymous - 23/04/2023 06:00

Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 213

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 240

You deserved it 1 253

Rough

By aarone23 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 268

You deserved it 4 135

STOP! THIEF!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Stamford

Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 490

You deserved it 366

ElMundio87 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 12:03

complain to the president, and you might get a free beer

Tubasaurus 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 12:17

Because people that rob houses never run right? Hurray for dumbass police officers!

Comments

Leumas1999 3

Sunday 4 January 2015 17:52

you can sue them for police brutality and not charging you or telling. you anything when they arrested you

bruh21 18

Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:57

I would sue the department

lil_jimmy 29

Saturday 18 April 2015 10:40

I've had a similar thing happen, people need to give better descriptions.

getfokinrektm8 9

Monday 11 May 2015 16:48

police jump to conclusions too much

zefronke8 25

Thursday 23 July 2015 4:55

Sue!

Ideastogetback 11

Thursday 24 December 2015 17:55

What happened to innocent till proven guilty and searches and no seizures without probable cause

TheLynx_fml 20

Thursday 17 March 2016 20:00

Sue, they didn't recite your Miranda rights and they have to tell you what you did wrong.

heatherrr17 19

Wednesday 15 June 2016 7:49

Lol i this said tickled nott tackled

that_random_geek 3

Tuesday 17 January 2017 5:20

<p>That's... illegal...</p>

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The Top

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 486

You deserved it 12 051

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 643

You deserved it 3 028

The Top

Today, my date threw me out because I wouldn’t hit her in the face to really get her excited. I offered to spank her butt if she really wanted to be hit, but she wanted me to beat her until she had bruises and could taste blood. The girl had issues, so I was happy to be thrown out to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 230

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 5 498

Today, my mother got rid of all my anime DVDs and Manga collection, the reason being that she’s tired of me immersing myself with “ching chong cartoons” and she’s afraid I’ll turn into a “Beijing communist puppet.” Only 10 more months until I turn 18 so I can move the hell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 194

Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 595

You deserved it 1 575

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 5 309

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 007

You deserved it 3 270

Same thing different taste

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