Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML
Today, a gorgeous girl was making eyes at me in a cafe, and she actually came and said hi to me. Before I could say hi back, my brother said to her, “Stop making eyes at my boyfriend you slut.” She left upset and I wanted to murder him. He thought it was the best prank ever. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
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Top comments
PositiveChillout 0
Is that how you define "making a move"? By asking about holiday preferance? That right there is a fail. And for the record, it's damn creepy when people batt their eyes; damn creepy.
steph_darling 0
wow. i dont know about you guys, but when i'm trying to score with a guy i ask him about his favourite holiday. they all think its so hot. xD
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Comments (173)
ohreally123 0
What a lame attempt at a pick up. Really? Holiday preferences?
zoomster 0
#122 ftw!
elliekinslurvsya 0
...what kind of a question is that?? what, is he supposed to fall in love with you cuz you both like the same holiday? wtf? anyway...maybe you should be more careful about checking for food in your teeth.
Proxgotsthafia 0
This sounds to me like her question was a Peanuts reference. If it was, that would definitely outweigh the lettuce.
plethora 3
Clearly the only thing more fail than the OP's pick-up line is FMLwrestler's teal dear. *yawn*
arms_akimbo 0
That's your idea of a flirting? What's your favourite holiday? FML indeed.
PokeyStix 3
Why does everyone love assuming the FML OP is a man? It's stupid. Especially when the FML is obviously about a woman.
littlemissxx 0
wtf no one does
Hullaballoo 0
A question about holidays is a pick up line? Are you kidding??
AutumnsMonologue 0
couldn't agree more with #1 lol
sodahhhr 0
All of you guys are total clueless ôter pplz lolz. only #68 has half a clue about it lol