Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML
Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said, "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML
Today, my boss fired me because of my drinking problem. The reason he thinks I have a drinking problem? I was in a play he saw, in which I played a drunk person. I've been completely sober my whole life. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
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Top comments
jsni2132 18
Hey, it's better than being called doperman.
JasonUMN 15
Who cares about the nickname. The real focus is that you took a positive step to change your life, and that's what's important here.
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Comments (32)
worldclassrager 41
I think your boss has his words mixed up...but you could have a worse nickname...
XxAtreyuSinsxX 14
Ugh. I want a doberman.
sabrinalynn22 19
I'm sure your friends can think of better nicknames.
glitterkuro 18
Take the boss aside and quietly explain the situation. The nickname is nothing to be afraid of- in fact, it shows a positive decision you made. Then tell your friends that while you don't mind the nickname, it's giving off the wrong impression at work and you'd rather it remained between your group of friends.
sanecatlady 13
You should sic your doberman on your boss. >:)
AKAR2521 4
most stupid FML i have ever read
conqueror57 11
Was it take your friends to work day? I'm a pretty firm believer in work and private lives staying separate. The only crossover should be spouses at a Holiday party.
glitterkuro 18
...maybe they're friends from work? Or are you suggesting that you should never make friends with people you go to work with?
conqueror57 11
I think you can be friendly with work people, but no, I don't think you should be real friends. Because then things like this FML happen.
jaybone87 8
booze is the best thing invented
catanita 18
Why a boss give a damn about an employee being an hypothetical alcoholic as long as at work he is sober and does his job?
Axel5238 29
Being good friends co workers can and will back fire. People gossip and that stuff is going to get around the work place and really affect someone's reputation like this. Though I'm hopeful your boss will understand. Make sure friends know not to bring up stuff like this at work.