Poopoo peepee and Health: Straining

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 881

You deserved it 9 978

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Same thing different taste

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 034

You deserved it 2 543

Messed up

By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 4 862

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 7 303

Butterfingers

By caqi33 - 08/03/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 9 003

By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 387

You deserved it 26 468

By analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 842

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 402

You deserved it 6 438

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 190

You deserved it 8 665

By killme - 29/02/2016 07:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 548

You deserved it 23 566

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 903

nnnope 26

Sunday 14 April 2013 12:08

urine trouble now

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 14 April 2013 15:17

20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.

Comments

greatfirstdate 18

Sunday 14 April 2013 22:15

Don't you pee in the toilet and then scoop a cup out of the toilet? Well...that's what you have to do for girls. Still did FYL if you're a guy, OP

CharresBarkrey 15

Sunday 14 April 2013 22:39

No no no, that ruins the test. Girls are still meant to pee directly into the cup. As a medical professional who works in a lab, this comment scares me.

shiarrael 13

Sunday 14 April 2013 23:33

What? No. You don't scoop it out of the toilet. You pee in the cup; it's not THAT hard.

Lorysa 11

Monday 15 April 2013 2:53

Huh?! I've always peed in the cup... pee for a couple seconds first to clean things out, then go in the cup... sometimes they even tell you to clean the area first with an antibacterial wipe... there are way too many other germs in the toilet... ick.

lizzy_babyy 9

Monday 15 April 2013 6:53

What the ****?

xgetxbentx 13

Monday 15 April 2013 8:40

...no, that's not how girls do it. You're really stupid... And for future reference, when you take a home pregnancy test, you don't dip that in the toilet either.

Courtelizab 18

Tuesday 9 July 2013 14:59

I read all the comments just to see how people responded to this hilariously wrong comment. I mean, COME ON.

Pandaxox 10

Saturday 4 October 2014 23:09

Come on, guys! leave #54 alone! I've thought the EXACT same thing, so don't act like its weird, because I'm sure you haven't been exactly the smartest people at different moments.

Hurbel684 10

Sunday 14 April 2013 23:29

It's better to be pissed off then to be pissed at. Oh wait.

xgetxbentx 13

Monday 15 April 2013 8:35

Sooo, you do realize that you don't need to give much urine right? Even a half a cup if significantly more than they need..... They only use a few drops.