Still got game

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

Wish you were here

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

More details please

Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML

Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

Thanks, I guess…

Today, I finally had a phone call after a week of nothing. It was my mother. It was by accident. FML

Today, for the first time in a month, I talked to someone in person besides my grandmother and my husband. It was a store clerk calling me "Miss" and asking if I was finding everything okay. FML

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML