By daddy-o - 14/03/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 753
You deserved it 20 809

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Top comments

brokenangelexy 13

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

Comments

Wow! Doctor McDreamy!

vol4life 6

Doesn't matter had sex

Use condom next time Nevermind...

More like Doctor McDaddy

How does that suck?? Baby's r so cute:)

icrest80 4

Actually it does matter cuz his gf is prego, I guess they forgot to put that possibility in the song...

Osito2011 9

Don't worry! After 9 to 10 months it will be back!

30- Uhhgg! I beat you to it a long time ago. Check first before you repeat!

SignUpisntcool 3

I read sister...weird..

Be a true stud, cover your pud.

You say 'FML' now. But, that will change once the baby is born, I'm sure you'll have no regrets then :)

JayBear14 11

Is it really a cure if it will be back in roughly 9 months?

brokenangelexy 13

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

Dont be a fool, wrap your tool. ;)

Don't be daft, wrap your shaft !

Don't make a fetus, cover your penis!

Wrap it before you tap it.

desireev 17

Wrap your whacker before you attack her.

bigmackin35 0

Glove before love

zachattack112492 4

Don't be a chump, wrap your stump

Epsilonyx 15

Put on a condom.

If you slip between her thighs, condomize.

Cover your Wagner before you Bang her!

cmanaus 3

Everything's neater if you cover your peter

If you want to keep her sick, then wrap your your dick.

Sex can wait masturbait.

C-C-C-Combo breaker!

No glove, no love

Don't be a troll. Wrap your tootsie roll

agsilver 14

BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER = Anal

Doesn't rhyme

Don't be a troll. Cover your tootsie roll.

lstrawberrycake 12

Put your pickle back in its jar

This thread is the only reason I've fave'd this FML. Thank you all.

TheRealBruce 12

Before you go ham use dental dam

TheRealBruce 12

Before you get it in put one on

xAttackAttackx 25

If you can't protect your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

TheRealBruce 12

Wear it before you tear it

missmady 0

Cloak your joker before you poke her.

Don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy!

Don't be a prick, wrap your dick.

It went from funny, to ehh, to Wtf?, to chuckles. All in 28 posts.

You can't go wrong if you wrap your dong!

jujubunni5 9

Wear a condom

PicklesMcRaptor 0

Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon.

zakkyzebra 11

C-C-C-CONDOM BREAKER

OHai15 12

i see what u all did there >.>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Before pulling a quickie, cover your dickie.

499 thumbs up. Who will be number 500

silvereye12 7

This is the best thread ever XD

CaptainDoorknob 7

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
CaptainDoorknob 7

SHIT I utterly failed to notice that was the original comment. Go ahead and thumb me down to oblivion, friends. I deserve it.

Package your meat before filling her deep

aren't you so happy you could help out!

TheDrifter 23

It's a win-win. She gets a hand with her monthly "illness" and he gets 9 months designated driver service.

MizzErikaHart 8

And that sucks for you why?

outch_fml 0

She got pregnant

LaColombianita 26

OP's girlfriend is pregnant and maybe OP isn't ready to have a baby yet.

MizzErikaHart 8

I understood the fml. I'm saying he should be happy. It sucks for the baby that has an fml writing father who thinks his life is fucked because it came around.

Agreed!! Same situation - sister in law is pregnant... father doesnt want it but is sticking by her... says he isn't ready for a baby etc... shoulda used a condom!

Well, given it's his "girlfriend", it could mean they're in high school. Part of the FML could also be because he's going out with an idiot. Or maybe they want to be parents, just not yet.

If she doesn't know what her period is and thinks it is an illness its quite obvious that she should not be having sex yet, let alone get pregnant and raise a kid, and i believe tha he is as young as her (unless he is a pedophile) it is a FML.

41- just because he refers to her as girlfriend doesn't mean they are in high school. A girlfriend/boyfriend is usually someone you are exclusively dating, not engaged or married to. People of all ages have them..

52 - You talk so much shit. 41 - Just because OP stated 'girlfriend' doesn't mean in any way they are still in High School. They could be of any age. If they are not engaged or married, then that is what she is to him, his girlfriend.

FurryRocks 10

33- abortions are not cool. Having an abortion is murder. So if abortions are legal then that means I should be able to go on the street and kill some random person and everyone would be okay with that.

I would just like to point out a condom can brake some people use lots of protection and get pregnant some people don't and get nothing

koolkat27 13

op could be a teen dad...thats a shitty situation.

koolkat27 13

sorry, meant to reply to #4

strap yo shit! lol

You may have cured that illness, but a much, much worse one is on the way.

How is having a baby a illness and btw how can u call ur period an illness?????

Maybe OP's girlfriend didnt actually address her period as an 'illness' perhaps because she always complained of feeling ill whilst having her period so that is what OP has referred it as. Jeez.

The calm before the storm.

Maybe she means morning sickness...my mom was puking her guts out before she had my sister(younger)

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

MizzErikaHart 8

Its my cute way of writing. I know u probably think I look dumb cuz I'm sexy but its cool

Well, considering an FML that says "today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant" is boring, he tried to spice it up a bit or his girlfriend really said that in trying to bring about the news in a different way.

Random note: ill take you up on your username

Redoxx_fml 22

Daddy!

BitchGettinHigh 0

That's not an FML moment unless ur 18 er younger... Then your kinda fucked

viper64 10

No, no, no. You just get on MTV.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

It's an FML at ANY age if you don't want a child, especially it you don't have the resources to support one.

And a flat and your bills paid for you. Yay for state benefit and hard-working people who get ripped by the taxman.

Seriphe 16

78 - No? I'm pregnant, on food stamps and Medicare, working my job while my husband works his, and we pay all the same bills we've been paying. Roughly $1200/month not counting food, gas, and unexpected occurrences(like him needing glasses). We barely make ends meet.

That was a reference to 16 And Pregnant, not the average teenage mom.

jujubunni5 9

Think positive. You saved her money on tampons

Redoxx_fml 22

And gave her 9 months of "joy"

courtneyann211 10

Not really saving money. Considering the first year of a babies life it costs around $8000. Then support that child (or children) the rest of your life. I would rather spend $7 a month on tampons.

TheChad85 1

21- I am willing to go out on a limb and say 13 knew that, but was trying to provide some type of upside. But great job pointing out the obvious!!

Agreed with 71

21- Really? I thought children just drew moisture and sustinence out of the air.

JadeWalker 14

I'd rather be paying for tampons then diapers.

jujubunni5 9

Just trying to be positive (: hahaha but you all make good points.

Yay! How much is a single tampon? Nine months worth must not be too much. But I'm no woman, so I wouldnt know that please clarify if you can.