Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
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By
brokenangelexy
| 13
Don't be silly wrap your willy!
By
tencentsakiss
| 19
I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.
COMMENTS
By
maybeBabe
| 8
Wow! Doctor McDreamy!
Reply
vol4life
| 6
Doesn't matter had sex
Reply
KaanTech
| 0
Use condom next time
Nevermind...
Nevermind...
Reply
mboehm88
| 3
More like Doctor McDaddy
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mycheese
| 0
How does that suck?? Baby's r so cute:)
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icrest80
| 4
Actually it does matter cuz his gf is prego, I guess they forgot to put that possibility in the song...
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Osito2011
| 9
Don't worry! After 9 to 10 months it will be back!
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Fml_FTW228
| 10
30- Uhhgg! I beat you to it a long time ago. Check first before you repeat!
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SignUpisntcool
| 3
I read sister...weird..
Reply
strongbad1907
| 5
Be a true stud, cover your pud.
Reply
Discombobulated9
| 12
You say 'FML' now. But, that will change once the baby is born, I'm sure you'll have no regrets then :)
Reply
JayBear14
| 11
Is it really a cure if it will be back in roughly 9 months?
By
brokenangelexy
| 13
Don't be silly wrap your willy!
Reply
DirtyMike911
| 0
Dont be a fool, wrap your tool. ;)
Reply
Quasar55_fml
| 18
Don't be daft, wrap your shaft !
Reply
Fml_FTW228
| 10
Don't make a fetus, cover your penis!
Reply
iamyummylicious
| 14
Wrap it before you tap it.
Reply
desireev
| 17
Wrap your whacker before you attack her.
Reply
bigmackin35
| 0
Glove before love
Reply
zachattack112492
| 4
Don't be a chump, wrap your stump
Reply
Epsilonyx
| 15
Put on a condom.
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
Reply
yake12
| 0
Cover your Wagner before you Bang her!
Reply
cmanaus
| 3
Everything's neater if you cover your peter
Reply
s0m3guy2010
| 21
If you want to keep her sick, then wrap your your dick.
Reply
tmd4L
| 7
Sex can wait masturbait.
Reply
Orion1434
| 5
C-C-C-Combo breaker!
Reply
racerapj
| 10
No glove, no love
Reply
LeapOfFaith
| 8
Don't be a troll. Wrap your tootsie roll
Reply
agsilver
| 14
BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER = Anal
Reply
friisen_
| 0
Doesn't rhyme
Reply
LeapOfFaith
| 8
Don't be a troll. Cover your tootsie roll.
Reply
lstrawberrycake
| 12
Put your pickle back in its jar
Reply
laden_swallow09
| 34
This thread is the only reason I've fave'd this FML. Thank you all.
Reply
TheRealBruce
| 12
Before you go ham use dental dam
Reply
TheRealBruce
| 12
Before you get it in put one on
Reply
xAttackAttackx
| 25
If you can't protect your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
Reply
TheRealBruce
| 12
Wear it before you tear it
Reply
missmady
| 0
Cloak your joker before you poke her.
Reply
UncausedRyan
| 2
Don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy!
Reply
BatteryAddict
| 11
Don't be a prick, wrap your dick.
Reply
DogsPaw
| 16
It went from funny, to ehh, to Wtf?, to chuckles. All in 28 posts.
Reply
mjoyn98
| 1
You can't go wrong if you wrap your dong!
Reply
jujubunni5
| 9
Wear a condom
Reply
PicklesMcRaptor
| 0
Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon.
Reply
zakkyzebra
| 11
C-C-C-CONDOM BREAKER
Reply
OHai15
| 12
i see what u all did there >.>
Reply
Heinousness
| 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Reply
Heinousness
| 0
Before pulling a quickie, cover your dickie.
Reply
sammyf89
| 13
499 thumbs up. Who will be number 500
Reply
silvereye12
| 7
This is the best thread ever XD
Reply
CaptainDoorknob
| 7
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
CaptainDoorknob
| 7
SHIT I utterly failed to notice that was the original comment. Go ahead and thumb me down to oblivion, friends. I deserve it.
Reply
tylercarolinex
| 21
Package your meat before filling her deep
By
bmwguy01
| 8
aren't you so happy you could help out!
Reply
TheDrifter
| 23
It's a win-win. She gets a hand with her monthly "illness" and he gets 9 months designated driver service.
By
MizzErikaHart
| 8
And that sucks for you why?
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outch_fml
| 0
She got pregnant
Reply
LaColombianita
| 26
OP's girlfriend is pregnant and maybe OP isn't ready to have a baby yet.
Reply
MizzErikaHart
| 8
I understood the fml. I'm saying he should be happy. It sucks for the baby that has an fml writing father who thinks his life is fucked because it came around.
Reply
Sexy_Smurf
| 16
Agreed!! Same situation - sister in law is pregnant... father doesnt want it but is sticking by her... says he isn't ready for a baby etc... shoulda used a condom!
Reply
MoodyBlue320
| 11
Well, given it's his "girlfriend", it could mean they're in high school. Part of the FML could also be because he's going out with an idiot. Or maybe they want to be parents, just not yet.
Reply
d_unsub
| 12
If she doesn't know what her period is and thinks it is an illness its quite obvious that she should not be having sex yet, let alone get pregnant and raise a kid, and i believe tha he is as young as her (unless he is a pedophile) it is a FML.
Reply
luna4545
| 4
41- just because he refers to her as girlfriend doesn't mean they are in high school. A girlfriend/boyfriend is usually someone you are exclusively dating, not engaged or married to. People of all ages have them..
Reply
IStoleTheCookies
| 16
52 - You talk so much shit.
41 - Just because OP stated 'girlfriend' doesn't mean in any way they are still in High School. They could be of any age. If they are not engaged or married, then that is what she is to him, his girlfriend.
41 - Just because OP stated 'girlfriend' doesn't mean in any way they are still in High School. They could be of any age. If they are not engaged or married, then that is what she is to him, his girlfriend.
Reply
FurryRocks
| 10
33- abortions are not cool. Having an abortion is murder. So if abortions are legal then that means I should be able to go on the street and kill some random person and everyone would be okay with that.
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lukemack
| 4
I would just like to point out a condom can brake some people use lots of protection and get pregnant some people don't and get nothing
Reply
koolkat27
| 13
op could be a teen dad...thats a shitty situation.
Reply
koolkat27
| 13
sorry, meant to reply to #4
By
sunflower226
| 0
strap yo shit! lol
Reply
bmwguy01
| 8
nice fish!
By
altigue
| 0
You may have cured that illness, but a much, much worse one is on the way.
Reply
mycheese
| 0
How is having a baby a illness and btw how can u call ur period an illness?????
Reply
IStoleTheCookies
| 16
Maybe OP's girlfriend didnt actually address her period as an 'illness' perhaps because she always complained of feeling ill whilst having her period so that is what OP has referred it as. Jeez.
Reply
xSundae
| 6
The calm before the storm.
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BostonBruinsFan
| 8
Maybe she means morning sickness...my mom was puking her guts out before she had my sister(younger)
By
tencentsakiss
| 19
I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.
Reply
MizzErikaHart
| 8
Its my cute way of writing. I know u probably think I look dumb cuz I'm sexy but its cool
Reply
coried91
| 28
Well, considering an FML that says "today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant" is boring, he tried to spice it up a bit or his girlfriend really said that in trying to bring about the news in a different way.
Reply
l23VIVE
| 17
Random note: ill take you up on your username
By
Redoxx_fml
| 22
Daddy!
By
BitchGettinHigh
| 0
That's not an FML moment unless ur 18 er younger... Then your kinda fucked
Reply
viper64
| 10
No, no, no. You just get on MTV.
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VasilisaUzhasnaj
| 29
It's an FML at ANY age if you don't want a child, especially it you don't have the resources to support one.
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IStoleTheCookies
| 16
And a flat and your bills paid for you. Yay for state benefit and hard-working people who get ripped by the taxman.
Reply
Seriphe
| 16
78 - No? I'm pregnant, on food stamps and Medicare, working my job while my husband works his, and we pay all the same bills we've been paying. Roughly $1200/month not counting food, gas, and unexpected occurrences(like him needing glasses). We barely make ends meet.
Reply
xNephilim
| 18
That was a reference to 16 And Pregnant, not the average teenage mom.
By
jujubunni5
| 9
Think positive. You saved her money on tampons
Reply
Redoxx_fml
| 22
And gave her 9 months of "joy"
Reply
courtneyann211
| 10
Not really saving money. Considering the first year of a babies life it costs around $8000. Then support that child (or children) the rest of your life. I would rather spend $7 a month on tampons.
Reply
TheChad85
| 1
21- I am willing to go out on a limb and say 13 knew that, but was trying to provide some type of upside. But great job pointing out the obvious!!
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lukemack
| 4
Agreed with 71
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t765234
| 10
21- Really? I thought children just drew moisture and sustinence out of the air.
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JadeWalker
| 14
I'd rather be paying for tampons then diapers.
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jujubunni5
| 9
Just trying to be positive (: hahaha but you all make good points.
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Heinousness
| 0
Yay! How much is a single tampon? Nine months worth must not be too much. But I'm no woman, so I wouldnt know that please clarify if you can.