Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking my aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out, the bag had a small unnoticeable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didn't realize it. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
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Top comments
drkate25 30
I would've called out to him and asked if he had an extra evidence bag you could borrow
Capt_Oblivious 10
Caught brown handed weren't you.
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Comments (192)
xRezSynn 15
You could have improvised and use something else around you, like leaves.
Life_sucks_13 6
They have little things that attach to the leash that carries baggies. They aren't very expensive and sometimes vet offices who set up at fairs and stuff give them out for free so all you have to do is buy the replacements when it runs out. I work in the vet office at petsmart and there are bags and a trashcan there. I get angry when people don't pick up. It's a simple solution and others won't step in it
faygo_chick 5
The cop was probably laughing his ass off. I trained my dog to poop in bushes! If she tried pooping in the middle of someone's lawn or somewhere she shouldn't I would pull her to a bush, she actually figured it out very quickly.
Inked0803 12
Next time just run like hell
desertlovebird 11
Guess you will always carry poop bags now unless you like that warm shitty feeling in your hands. Have you learned your lesson OP?
watchitgo 4
You should've used your sock
Czech_Zidane 14
I saw "****" and was like WTF?
DocShady 11
Damn that's nasty...I feel there was definitely a more sanitary way to do that...
WelcomeToAndale 13
Typical pig.
FML_Elle 17
This sounds just like an old FML about a girl who was walking her dog and her dog pooped in someone's yard as that person was looking out the window, so she picked it up with her bare hands. Any 1 else remember that?
Cysioland 8
You should ask him for at least piece of tissue.