Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking my aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out, the bag had a small unnoticeable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didn't realize it. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
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Top comments
drkate25 30
I would've called out to him and asked if he had an extra evidence bag you could borrow
Capt_Oblivious 10
Caught brown handed weren't you.
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Comments (192)
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Shit happens, bring bags next time
buddy51 23
OP, you pooped out and missed a chance to impress the cop (and your dog) by juggling (sh)it!!
StanSmith2013 26
I am the law!
RaulGarcia30 10
I would've had him write me a ticket, then I would've used it to pick up the poop
ColbyGB 13
Hahaha I bet that made that pigs day :p
wsdarrah 14
I moderated this! I laughed so hard. :)
noelasis94 18
Now you know you won't need toilet paper to wipe you can use your hand you learn something new about yourself everyday
friedchickenpie 14
But it weighs as much as ten thousand suns!
lux0rd 18
Instead of submitting an FML go and tie a few to the leash while you remember so you don't forget next time?
doglover100 28
That's disgusting!!!!