Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "… unlike my boyfriend." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML
Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Tell her your pull-out game is strong.
SubaruWRXSTI 16
I don't see how your life is ******. It's not like she was your girlfriend, she was just a crush. There are plenty of great women you could ask out and start something with, don't fixate on something that will most likely not happen.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (29)
Catdragon 40
I'd tell her your knob also pulls out.
Goblin182 27
Ok, that's just funny. Hopefully she was just making a joke and doesn't think pulling out is a good form of birth control. Or, she could be on the pill, just doesn't like getting cum in her pussy.
DashPlays 18
I'm more interested in the Australia - New South Wales
justwillie62226 4
and this is where you ask..."good so i dont have to either" or "hey... shall or spit or do you like it dry"....
Talented73 54
I don't believe in getting involved with your co-workers. "Never shit where you eat."
rodrigun449 16
Play Jenga on the first date, that shows your pullout game is A1