Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "… unlike my boyfriend." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML
Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Tell her your pull-out game is strong.
SubaruWRXSTI 16
I don't see how your life is ******. It's not like she was your girlfriend, she was just a crush. There are plenty of great women you could ask out and start something with, don't fixate on something that will most likely not happen.
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Comments (29)
slapstick1982 22
Haha
RichardPencil 32
Tell her your pull-out game is strong.
tounces7 28
Sounds like she may already be pregnant....
SubaruWRXSTI 16
I don't see how your life is ******. It's not like she was your girlfriend, she was just a crush. There are plenty of great women you could ask out and start something with, don't fixate on something that will most likely not happen.
LyricaSilvan 30
So he's not allowed to be bummed that the girl he likes is spoken for? Let the guy vent, #3...
shadypalmtree 20
22, so she's taken.... From the looks of it, it might not be going well. It's not even like something bad happened to OP. People have taken crushes all the time. It's nothing new. No need to vent, really.
cuz803 46
That...is the most hilarious FML today
Bubblez2009 15
Better find someone else! She's taken man
cornyrob 33
It could've been just a humorous comment to herself similar to "That's what *she* said," and she could have been otherwise unattached
ezrajab 22
Never go for someone you know is spoken for. You will find someone op. Try not to fixate on this too much.
kristinjeaneen 21
You don't want her anyway. She's taken for one and she apparently thinks the pull out method is an acceptable form of birth control.
tounces7 28
Much more effective than you think. It's 96% effective if you actually know how to do it, which is nearly as effective as condoms.
clemsi 20
God damn it 17 now you're going to breed and put more stupid into the world.
tounces7 28
Try researching it before saying I'm wrong. Yes, Pull-out has a higher rate of failure because lots guys suck at it - but if it's used properly, it's very effective.
Enchiladattack 12
Yes, because absolute faith in your reflexes and luck is always a good idea. You have an 83% chance of surviving a round of Russian Roulette with one bullet, does that mean we should all be playing it like it's ******* hopscotch?
pjsr 33
It certainly sounds like there's opportunity there for a guy that's not a selfish prick. The pullout method is unreliable as birth control and does nothing to prevent disease. If that's what she agreed to, however, the pulling out has to be 100%. If it's not, then she should insist on 100% condom usage.
cuz803 46
Well of course. We all should consider using a condom or protection for the pull out method doesn't work. There's some called 'pre-cum'
tounces7 28
Popular myth, but Pre-cum does not contain any sperm.
rissa5214 14
Yes...pre-cum does contain cum.
cuz803 46
Check that claim again
tounces7 28
Does anyone bother to research this stuff? No, it doesn't. It can contain a small amount of sperm if there is some leftover in the urethra, but that's mostly dead. Precum itself does not have any, though, any more than piss does. Try checking something before saying I'm wrong.
Lalala579121 28
I don't really see the problem here. It's not like you're in love with her or she led you on. Just move on and find a new girl.
xx000o 27
Relegate her to the lite crush department and keep your eyes open.