Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
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Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
EvilLittleMan 23
Your wife shouldn't have to create a Sex Rewards Card to motivate you to be a good husband. Step up to the plate and start contributing to the upkeep of the household you lazy...
aire101 16
More than the withholding sex, the sleeping in the guest room worries me. I have heard from many people, those married and those divorced, that not sleeping together causes some serious strain on the relationship. That you lose a certain closeness when you no longer sleep in the same bed. one even said he thought that was the nail in the coffin that lead to a divorce. it speaks of issues a hell of a lot deeper than chores.
commandercolbert 6
so get off ur lazy ass lol its not a big deal
edmunson 22
Two words...hopeless relationship. I feel sorry for BOTH the OP and spouse. Sad "marriage" that has to resort to ANY type of a point system!!!
Luigi2012SM64DS 6
Who the **** wouldn't take up that offer?
JOUSH94 5
You don't have let her control you like that, that's BS! Don't do anything for the list for a while and maybe she will come crawling for you after some time
fatkidfalling 11
You're married to a BIATCH
Gottobekiddingme 7
Sex is not a bargaining tool, it is an expression of love. If your wife is using it as punishment you should both go see a marriage counselor as soon as possible. Your marriage is likely to fail if not. And for all you crazy women who agree with this, shame on you. You will get the pansies you deserve and wish for a real man.
amisenho 11
If by "pansies," you mean "husbands that actually help out around the house when both of you work outside the home," then yes, I guess they will. I'm in no way condoning OP's wife's actions, but for someone to pull this level of desperation must have seen problems with OP's lack of help for a while. It's rare for someone to use this extreme of a system on the first offense, unless they've developed some serious communication/mental issues during the marriage.
jeniaisling 6
Two words: couple's therapy.
kirbs19 37
She might be telling you that you don't do enough work in the house.