Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right, and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping, as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML
Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful at a café by stacking the plates after finishing a meal. The stack looked stable until it very much wasn’t. Everything slid off at once, loud crash, and almost every conversation in the place stopped. The server came over and told me, very kindly, “You didn’t have to do that.” FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
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Top comments
fleg 9
it's ok. i've been used as a personal shopping basket. some woman came in and asked for help, and proceeded to dump things she liked into my arms. #1, they've got a real job. uncalled for.
mojo_jojo 0
Where else is she supposed to put it? Shards of glass can't cut you by just dropping them into your hand; the glass doesn't weigh enough. What a drama queen.
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Comments (88)
pew_pew_lasers 0
Mercifully, the alcohol in the wine should have disinfected the wound.
bsaucedo 0
why do people take this site so seriously ?
kpearsall 0
#76 Probably because we're all losers with messed up lives?
PredyJessica 0
comment #1 needs to stfu its better that he gets a bad job then being on the street homeless..and plus you don't know how old he/she is!
BeastieKnights 0
"Lady, do you really excpect me to carry these glass shards with my bare hands?
Seabeast1000 4
fml needs to add a "not an FML" button.
angel55033 12
you dumbass you never touch broken glass with your hands ever you get a broom and dustpan that's practical safety and most restaurants you would be violating procedure that way
jman7793 0
At least she tried to help
mtricia 4
Sounds like me... Yes FOL.. **** our lives!
Mabonga 12
she did say 'fetch the bin' in her head