Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I quit my job because I wasn't given the time or space to pump for my newborn child. I went back to work 4 weeks postpartum, and they suggested I pump in the bathroom, my car or the freezer. FML
Today, I went into my boss's office to confront her about not consulting me before switching my shifts with someone else. I left in tears. FML
Today, I accidentally left a small but very important piece of my breast pump at home. Only ten more hours until the end of my shift. FML
Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML
Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, my manager came in and said, "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said, "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who'd left the room. FML
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Top comments
RoqueSand 0
You should've knocked! ydi
the17doctor 12
i think 3 was making an erection joke not realising the op is female.
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Comments (106)
sun_babe 0
So much for Desperate Housewives. Don't you just love life.
Equinox987 0
Today i saw my hawt boss' boobs and I just stopped and stared instead of offering to help her express milk. FML
mementomori_fml 0
Knock first, but I don't see the problem...
fretforyerlatte 0
wow you're an ass. you really just barge into your boss's office without knocking when the door's closed? there could be any number of reasons for it to be closed. she could have been having a private meeting with someone, who knows. wtf is wrong with you? i get if you knocked and there was no response, but really, you don't even try? you totally deserve it.
ajscw 0
He knew he liked it
Azlin_22 0
there is a reason why people lock doors... usually because they don't want you to go into that room!
sublime93 0
You're both women, you both have ****, no harm done. Chuckle about it & move on
Snippy11 0
Agree. Awkward, though.
augustdanielle 0
/facepalm
ithedarkknight 0
gosh that sucks fyl indeed... it was accident ... hope she understands for you gosh there is always going to be that akwardness between you too... but if she ever gives you shit or tries to fire you just say "BITCH YOU JUST MAD CUS I SAW YOUR SAGGY DROOPY DIRTY WASHED UP OLD AUNT JEMIMA ******* AND TRUST ME IT WAS NOTHIN GREAT LADY!" NOW GOOOD DAY!
kellster 2
nm
fyourlife33 0
youre a dumbass for not knocking, and youre a woman so big ******* deal