Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML
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Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I'm moving to the barn. Two weeks ago I bought my girlfriend the birthday gift she most wanted: two ducklings. They’re scatting everywhere but she eats, cuddles, and sleeps with them in our bed. I asked if they could go live outside and she said, "No, you can." FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
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Top comments
Deezknutz 8
How does a duck fly Into your living room?
HKCgrimmjow 15
Paranormal quacktivity is a more likely explanation
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Comments (56)
Rewan_fml 12
To be fair to your girlfriend, that definitely isn't 'normal' activity
Epikouros 31
This is more paranormal than the pigeon flying around near a river that Christians called 'the Holy Ghost appearing' while Jesus was baptized.
DjLitterBox 22
Since it hasn't been said yet. "Paranormal Quack-tivity" was what your girlfriend meant.
CJB3228 17
"Unusual activity" perhaps.
EvilLittleMan 23
That's ducked up.
glitterkuro 18
Was she just trying to avoid... *puts on sunglasses* ...getting the bill?
Curlytwirly22 17
Duuude :s
buttcramp 21
maybe she believes in reincarnation and is terrible with words hahaha
cactusdesu 15
That seems more like abnormal activity to me.
Ms_ValS 27
I had 2 sparrows flying around my house once. They strangely shifted course the moment they came near the windows. Left white and blue crap everywhere. Poor birds ******** themselves in terror. A duck though? How big is your window?