Intimacy: Not now!

Not now!

By Victim - 27/06/2009 13:47 - United States

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 478

You deserved it 10 101

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Same thing different taste

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 173

You deserved it 6 250

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 244

You deserved it 849

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 7 726

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 918

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 05:00 - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 101

You deserved it 5 115

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 378

You deserved it 2 179

Looking cool

By Anonymous - 18/05/2014 04:48 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 880

You deserved it 6 094

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 714

You deserved it 12 530

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 309

You deserved it 55 394

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 437

You deserved it 2 884

shotgunner2 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:16

hahaha i hope the people tying you down were chicks in bikinis

seb12992 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:16

Ouch. Were you being strapped down by a group of hot girls?

Comments

sedthsret 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 8:51

lol it happened to me once too, you're in good company...

mmelizard89 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 11:13

apparently you have a thing for s & m

bizz8290 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 22:47

well i think their is nothing wring with this because it just shows you get hard from being straped up on a side note be careful not to get raped

truthbetoldxx 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 1:47

Aw, I'm sorry, dear.

JakeMeeks 0

Friday 3 July 2009 0:45

lol what were you looking at?

fdlifedude 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 19:48

Ya i know ive gotten wood at a bad time once i was in a class a couple of years ago and i saw a hot girl...... and i had gym class in 10 min........ but i changed in the stalls XD

GreatAwakening 0

Friday 10 July 2009 20:43

I'm sorry, dear. But just laugh about it, it's all in good humor. Whether you could control it or not, it's a good story to tell your kids.

NTrav 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 4:57

The same thing happened to the kid in my lifeguard class during deep water back boarding demonstration. We gave him hell, especially since we were counselors in training together at a boys camp and there's not much else to do during down time besides call each other homos.

KoreyCamargo 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 2:03

omy god that turned me on

chlorinegreen 27

Thursday 16 July 2009 1:09

Wow. That really stinks but I'm the one who had to strap the guy down with the boner... It's kinda difficult to go around when your barely staying above water. FYL