Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML
Today, I started packing up the flat I have been renting. As I took a picture off the wall I also ripped half the wallpaper. That's my deposit gone. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML
Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML
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Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do
wafflemaster 1
i blame u for the lipstick part
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Comments (218)
iBeC00L 0
yea I believe I'm a girl but it's the thought that counts
MC_Telepathy 0
125 - i will bash your skull several time on a steel pole then ill chop off each and every one of your ****** ass limbs until you stop screaming then i will laserate your stomch and play with your inners, all with a huge grin on
Fluffeh 5
Why would you feel the need to add the gay community into your threat with someone?
iron_chefITALY 0
ok bud I'm waiting for ya. in the meantime maybe take some off ur crazy pills
musicman226 0
Clutzilla
iBeC00L 0
hey hey now, mr. chef I didn't see a thank u anywhere in there, it took great thought to come up with such a compliment >_<
MC_Telepathy 0
133 i will burrow under your skin and start making you bleed internally so you suffer incredible amount of pain then force my way to your brain and come out your eyes. watch your mouth ****** or you gunna get rung up, bitch.
iron_chefITALY 0
you keep sayin that but I'm not seein you anywere man
MC_Telepathy 0
ill smack the shit out your ass
iBeC00L 0
I'm still expecting a thank you -_-
iron_chefITALY 0
gay much?