Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML
Today, I started packing up the flat I have been renting. As I took a picture off the wall I also ripped half the wallpaper. That's my deposit gone. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML
Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML
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Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do
wafflemaster 1
i blame u for the lipstick part
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Comments (218)
letsgobucks 0
stupid ****. can't u see shit in an empty room? retard
lovinit5683 0
Why would your roommate have lipstick if he is a guy.
Lily_Loretta 0
1. Who said the room mate was a guy? 2. Who said men can't wear lipstick?
DeathwishCanada 0
64- your fat as **** !
mrsfunke 0
if you were taking a last look at your place, why would you still have your phone and lipstick lying around? I find this a little hard to believe.
ThickHead 0
damn haha no cash for you!
jackgoldstein 5
who has a corded phone anymore this isn't the 1500's
kelardy 11
dumbass, the first phone wasn't even invented until 1876 and they are called home phones, older ones can even run when the power is out if the phone lines are still up it will run because it draws it's power from the phone line
BronzeShoe 11
Who the hell gets white carpet, other than eccentric millionaires who can afford daily carpet shampooing?
Bigpoppa0507 10
OP I think it's your roommates fault
pinkstardust 9
That's probably something i'd do too lol
daemonsparta 16
yeah. ... your not seeing a cent back