Today, the guy I liked came over for dinner with some friends. One of them asked him if we were dating, he became so distraught he started to choke on the food I had made, in his haste to tell them that in no uncertain terms, were we together. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner. Halfway through, he said he wanted to break up. I started crying, but the whole restaurant thought he'd proposed, and started clapping. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML
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Top comments
backstagebitch 0
This is phrased really badly. I can't tell if he was saying no or yes, because you used the phrase "in no uncertain terms" it makes it seem like he choked while saying yes you are together.
mifo 0
He probably did that because he does like you and wants to be protected against any rejection embarrassment. Sure it's a dick move, but so many people do this because humans are ****** and stupid always.
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Comments (94)
judgeymcjudge 0
Yeah, a couple of other commenters are right. "To tell them that in no uncertain terms, we were together" means that he was telling them straight out you're together. o_0 Are we to assume that what you actually meant to say was he choked on his food in his desperate attempt to immediately dismiss the notion that you were an item, since he was horrified by the very thought of it?
LexiDaBae 17
No, he said "In no uncertain terms WERE we together," confirming that they were certainly NOT together.
p00p0ster0us 0
Aw I'm sorry that happened. You need to throat-punch the person who asked him. However, it might have saved you a lot of time and uncertainty. Still, it's a crummy way to learn things. He could have waited until he swallowed his food, that ass. You're better off without someone who so desperately lacks basic manners.
purplellamatree 0
Apparently proofreading is a lost art. Your FML actually says that you are upset that the guy you like wanted to quickly tell everyone that you two are together... unless he choked and died after that declaration, this makes no sense.
Go_Home 0
I moderated this one, but didn't think it was very FML material. Oh well :)
catchphrase 0
lrn2english
jellyshoes11 4
She's from Korea, her English may not be very good.
turnedoffTVgrey 0
Yeah it sounds like you meant to say "weren't together". I'm sorry. On the bright side, though, this is how my boyfriend and I became official. Someone asked us if we were together, and neither of us answered, but later that night we talked about it and decided we were together. And we've stayed together for four years now. Maybe he was just afraid to say it in front of people.
Dude_fml 0
Maybe he doesn't know your feelings on the subject and he didn't want to be bitchslaped by you for saying you were together. Ask him in person.
sasquatch282 0
Yeah, the way you wrote this makes it the complete opposite of an fml. Oh well, I figured it out.
Karnezar 2
Awww, he was shy because you were right there XP Or maybe he doesn't like you, I dunno, but the shy part is possible. Especially if he thinks you don't like him back.
heatherjay 0
how is this an fml? you were aware that you aren't dating him. it's not like you said "yes" as he vehemently denied it. oh, and i'll go ahead an reiterate how poorly worded this is.