By Anonymous - 01/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Twinsburg
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Depends on the people and the relationship. My mother-in-law is just coming to the realisation that her son (my husband) will always side with me and chose me over her in arguments. And it's not been pretty. We have been together for 17 years. I have never tried to come between them, and always supported them having time together. Now we have all had to move in together, it's been hard for her to see that he puts me first.
As far as I'm concerned, children always come before spouses--especially STEP-spouses. It doesn't have to be a bad thing--it's a different kind of love--but my son will always come first. It's a biological thing. But it doesn't mean I couldn't totally love my new husband with all my heart. I can multitask. OP's step-monster is obviously jealous, and if she keeps it up, it will wreck her new marriage. That is, if OP's father is anything like me. Then again, it could be a Cinderella situation, in which case OP's life is eff'ed.
step spouses don't exist. they are either your spouse or not. Just because a new spouse would become a step parent to your child and your child would come first, doesn't make the spouse not 100% your spouse. I get what you are trying to say, but putting a spouse on a different tier just because they aren't the biological parent of your child isn't fair to said spouse. the playbook, of course, would be different, as your child is not his so disciplining must be done according the biological parent's methods and what not... but that is just regarding the relation between step child and step parent, which needs to be approached with caution, but is not a spousal relationship. but the is a child-adult relationship with no romance involved. a romance between two consenting adults is different. So.. idk.. I don't think step spouse should be a term used ever. it's almost weird if you think about it. sounds almost like a threesome if you were allowed to get married to more than one person lol but all three weren't mutually married to each other. If that made sense.
I have grown children and yes, my wife is my favorite. Don't get me wrong, we both love our children to death and spend a lot of time with them and our grandchildren, but they are kids, not a favorite partner. I think the new spouse and kid are both wrong for making it any type of competition!
Well bravo to your dad's bride for reinforcing the "evil step parent" stereotype. If she brings her two ugly daughters to the house, I suggest legally emancipating yourself. Princes are hard to come by, these days.
Look her straight in the eyes and say; "You weren't supposed to hear that for another 6 months."