Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
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Top comments
louisianagrrrrl 0
you should have coughed into your napkin
DisturbedDriver 0
Haha, you can use an apology in private to introduce yourself?
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Comments (33)
crazygirl13_fml 0
learn to spell ass
Avenging_Angel 0
Lmao I love the way you worded this (:
popoman 0
COVER YOUR MOUTH, you inconsiderate person. I put FML and YDI.
LemonMan 0
You could have covered your mouth you know? I say YDI, but FYL that can be really akward
coltsluvr123 2
woooowwwww. next time cover your mouth!!!!!!!!!
TJT 0
Hmmmm stunning guys dont have glasses
happy_animal_lov 0
it's called turn away from the table and cover your mouth
kykeon22 0
oh, not at all, i think that this is a great opportunity to break the ice XD XD
smartalek 2
well what a nice conversation starter! (:
ladybug_26 18
haha, oh bummer xD