Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
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Top comments
louisianagrrrrl 0
you should have coughed into your napkin
DisturbedDriver 0
Haha, you can use an apology in private to introduce yourself?
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Comments (33)
PaulAlcohol 0
Quitter! YDI... Things like that are funny... too bad you couldn't get over yourself and instead decided to wine on FML. Grow a pair.
TheEpicPies 15
Aww :(
yukiokashi 12
you could have pretended nothing happened, otherwise apologize and make it up to him
banemask 14
Well thats one way to spark a conversation
HighasaCloud 46
I can't think of too many unique things to say for each FML and I want the 100 kick-ass comments badge so I thought I'd post them all in the far reaches of this website where hopefully nobody will really read through the comments and downvote me. Hazzah
worldclassrager 41
Well he recognized you right?
Nick3501 12
Like if your reading this in 2015!
jaspinkgrl01 18
What if she replied with, "Nah, it's gonna be for you since you said that."
KillerChipmunk 15
OP works at city hall, so they probably deal with a ton of different things, most of which a person could probably pick up for themselves.