Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
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Top comments
Boston_4_Life 3
Shit happens
hoedang 3
haha if it looks like poo, smells like poo, is warm like poo, it's probably poo
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Comments (120)
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Even if it was fake shit why the hell would you scoop it out of a filthy toilet??
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Still nasty... Ass's aren't that clean
flockz 20
"poo on the toilet lid" (not an ass)
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
25 GET OFF MY CASE!! ... (Runs into the corner and huddles into a ball)
GoW_Chick 15
*gives you hug and a cookie* Don't worry everything is going to be okay.
flockz 20
*throws large boulder at corner*
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
"Cries"
Namerkp2 8
*ponders whether to join in on the boulder throwing or protect him*... Eh, boulder throwing seems funner. *throws boulder*
THE_A_TEEN 28
Plants C-4 around boulder and blows it up!
silentbutfunny 0
*watches from a distance*
quite_bored 9
*Thinks everyone should stop*
asherm 15
Appropriate pic for situation lol
Fml_FTW228 10
*Pulls out pokeball and summons Blatoise to destroy Razzle Dazzle for being such an ignorant *****
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
108 I don't think I'm the one who's being ignorant...
punjabtimelord 18
Wow that got close to a tumblr 'conversation', careful guys
flockz 20
this is why you should invest in a shit funnel. it's the only way i get my shit in the bowl.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Your picture really portrays this FML
Margemander 4
You need "Poopy-Time Fun Shapes"
loserman67 36
Sorry, but I had to give you a "you deserve it" NEVER< never never never, ever pick up anything that even remotly resembles poop without a towel, bag or someother instrument to protect your hands. "Oh my, look at what my little Dickens did to try and fool mummie. A fake poo, how darling. I'll just pick it up and.........WHAT THE ****, THIS ISN'T FAKE, WHERE IS THAT LITTLE BASTARD?" Am I far off the mark?
MrPhucked 0
yes
DataWog 30
Honestly though, who in their right mind would think anyone is too much of a fuckhead to know how a goddamn toilet seat works?
TomHarrow 5
I say bull's eye.
Pelreskovich 11
There is a pretty distinct difference in the look of real and fake "poo", however I feel terrible for you, stepping in dog shit is enough for me to gag and almost throw up. Yuck.
Snafuusmc 12
I did that fake poop trick to my mon once it wasn't a good idea lets just I had a pretty shitty week after that.
P3_LadyChaosGoW 0
That was a bit non- sensible. Maybe it would have been better to actually see what it was first off, before diving your hand into... Well, shit.
ninjuh_wingman 29
What the ****? Most people are cautious anyway and dont pick it up with their hands. YDI
DrTthunder 0
wtf? why would you pick it up...
grapisy 8
A poo, or not a poo - that is the question Weather 'tis a smelly shit, Shat there by a small child Or a colored plastic prank Innocently placed upon the toilet
murhaaja 14
didn't you smell it?
Morgannnnuhhh 1
You're picture is just gross.
Fus_Ro_Dah 2
Your*