Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
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Top comments
Boston_4_Life 3
Shit happens
hoedang 3
haha if it looks like poo, smells like poo, is warm like poo, it's probably poo
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Comments (120)
moriahss_29 0
wow dumb
EmilyStrauch 8
Same has happened to me, except the dad ate the son, and then the other son ate the dad. My dad caught it all on tape
lolyeahthatsme 11
Please tell me you washed your hands after
JayJavaMonsterr 10
Why the EFF would u pick that shit (sorry for the pun) up?!
botdffan4 3
Haha it was a trick then to make u think it was fake
Punkpoptart1119 20
Oh no..all the awful puns! Anyway, that really sucks. Maybe it taught you to be more cautious next time?
Punkpoptart1119 20
And I love Avenged Sevenfold as well! Amazing band! =D
_MidnightLuna_ 17
LOLNUMETAL. BAD.
dlohoh978 8
Hey, it's a good thing you didn't step in it!
footballpro22 2
Hahahahahaha he called the shit poo!
HateLife66 0
Can't you smell the poo??