Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that birdseed tastes better than her cooking. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
Aww.. That's too bad! Normally, Mommas cookin' is always the best!! :)
Wozuh 5
Make your own food then.
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Comments (76)
missalice0306 19
Well she can just feed you bird seed then. She's going to be saving tons of money :)
Track1991 0
That's a slap to the face...poor mom is trying. You cook then!
kylebusby79 0
Why did you eat that for?
princesssharin 0
...is she English? (no offense)
XmyviolentheartX 13
Wait a minute, if you hate her cooking, wth have you been eating your entire life?! o_O
Epic_Times 10
Lmao, more like FHL.
dutchy12 1
That's because there are weedplant seeds in birdfood xD
Iris_Wildthyme 4
LMAO
CooperDelton 0
F*** you. At least u have a mom who cares enough about you to attempt to cook something for u!
Jazzy_B34r 12
nom nom nom...