Today, I watched in horror from the doorway as my brother furiously scratched at his greasy hair and ate the large flakes of dead skin that came loose from his scalp. I think our real dad might be caged in a zoo somewhere. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, I was haunted by the knowledge that my father watched me slit my wrists without doing a damn thing or batting an eyelid, but when I took the steak knife to the breadboard to release my tension, he was so upset, he took the dog, drove to the east coast, and spent the night in the car. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
I couldn't even finish reading about this without gagging so I'm really sorry to OP for having to witness it.
Flaming_Pandas 15
I hear that pouring bleach in your eyes can help to unsee things such as this. Best of luck.
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Comments (73)
Kitty_Kat44 31
That is so nasty! Maybe you should have a talk with him about it and save him the embarrassment of other people witnessing this.
Jinxsie 27
That's... I don't even know. Hose him down!
Dimps94 9
Shit... That is nasty. You should tell him that , that is nasty.
Destinee_1 13
That's disgusting
lauralabia3 13
yikes! that's pretty nasty!
laaryssa 21
I can't even handle this
hailzz_96 18
Don't knock it til ya try it
kWat19 10
Gross. He should go on that show My Strange Addiction, people do weird stuff like that all the time on that show.
LoverWordsFood 27
Note to self: don't eat or drink anything when reading through FML. World's greatest advice right there. I can't finish my chips and salsa without thinking of crunchy scalp...*gag*
militarybrat 21
Its actually a mental disorder, so really FHL.
SorryNotSorryyy 13
What is the mental disorder that causes you to think it is ok to eat your own dandruff?
vintageart1994 16
Yea, ur right. I've heard it has to do with an anxiety disorder
Rababco 29
Well, there's trichotillomania, which is the compulsive urge to pull one's own hair out and is part of OCD but I don't think it involves eating parts of one's scalp so I'm not sure what you are referring to.