Brainrot

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

Why Change a Perfectly Good System?

Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML

Force of habit, or just mean?

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

Brain fart

Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML

The straw that broke the camel's back

Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML

Freudian slip

Today, at my anniversary party, and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

Coinkidink?

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

Self report

Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML