Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML
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Top comments
thefallenqueen 5
parents these days..
1337Anonymous911 3
So you just let the drug abuse continue?
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Comments (303)
flowerchildd2 7
Teenage potheads FOR THE WIN
oldred16 0
Oh god get a spine! Your the mom, it's your house, you can do whatever the hell you want. You ought to take her door just to make a point after you take care of this drug thing.
maxesxp 0
I feel you but isn't it a bit rude to call ur daughter a "teenage pothead?"
kether_fml 0
Lol potheads are inventive lil ***** aren't they
savour 0
Your supposed to love you daughter. Care fore her send her to rehab. Don't bitch on FML. P.S. I'd never call my children potheads
TheFatUnicorns 3
What an idiot. It you can't even confront your daughter about DRUGS properly, you truly aren't qualified to be a parent at all.
eeoc777 6
your daughter was completely right to complain about your rudeness of entering her room without permission from her! Privacy is a matter to be acknowledged before any other, and because you were the first to be in the wrong by intruding, you should not have any say in what you saw/found.
chanda_bear 1
Ok, so first off, THIS IS THE GIRL'S MOTHER. She does have the right to go through her daughter's room. Second off, WOW Op, are you sure you're not the pothead?
ladymichee 10
Outsmarted by someone who probably isn't even out of highschool. Genuis.
theuglywhitekid 3
potheads, smarter than your average bear