Cars Transportation Menace to society

Menace to society

scared - 04/08/2014 00:47 - Canada

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

dangeronpa - 14/06/2019 02:32

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

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Glassless - 26/05/2017 20:00

Today, I lost my glasses. I don't have spares but my girlfriend said I could borrow hers. She doesn't understand why this won't work. FML

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Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

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Anonymous - 22/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Bellingham

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

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Dork

Four Eyes - 29/03/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I saw my grandma for the first time since I got new glasses. Wanting to be different, I got crystal colored ones instead of black. She said, "Thank God. You looked so dorky with your giant nerd glasses!" Love you too, grandma. FML

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Anonymous - 03/06/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

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fedupson - 09/04/2015 14:03 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

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whateven - 08/01/2013 17:45 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

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Bat out of hell

my dad is blind as shit - 03/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

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Sounds reasonable

Anonymous - 12/10/2019 06:00

Today, my 70 year-old mother complained about the patio window being dirty. I asked her why she couldn't clean it, or anything else in the house for that matter. I was informed she can't clean windows because she's not left handed. FML

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A07 48

Monday 4 August 2014 12:13

Time to hide away her car keys, or her car itself, depending on how old she is.

A07 48

Monday 4 August 2014 12:57

I would totally hide the car, hasn't Breaking Bad taught you anything?

headofmedusa 15

Tuesday 5 August 2014 4:29

**** the police

pdp_fml 21

Tuesday 5 August 2014 11:48

Hahaha! It's true, you don't need to worry about her driving as long as you're not in the car!

orsombre_fml 11

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:53

The way some people drive, she is not alone to believe this!

LtBoom 13

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:47

Said by every elderly woman ever.

CzechIsBack 15

Wednesday 6 August 2014 16:01

Is this the country kitchen buffet?

lina21 12

Wednesday 6 August 2014 20:57

Silly OP, cars practically drive themselves these days. No need to see. Seriously though, get rid of her car

truestoncer 14

Sunday 25 January 2015 21:19

Miltenburger?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

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Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML

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Today, I walked outside and found our kitten, my kids' favorite pet, convulsing and choking on the carport. Nothing we did helped and she died in my arms five minutes later. We've buried her, and I'm dreading going home and telling my boys that she's passed. FML

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Today, I discovered that I was the catalyst for my best friend's and ex's relationship. Apparently, still being in love with him added crazy heat to their sex life. FML

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Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

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Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML

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