howler
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Make it rain
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
gas money
Reno, United States
Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Addict
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Anonymous
Walnut, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Keesha
Loveland, United States
Kinky
Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML
Anonymous
Fort Lauderdale, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
How could you?
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ikungfuyou
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Top comments
x_Cupcakes 0
lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.
hideyoself 4
You cheep bastard
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Comments (128)
unclepester 0
400 dollars your set for life!!!
bellacullenisme 0
wiiin
mariazzz 5
FREAK alert!! lol
allmidnighteyes 11
I can only imagine "all over myself" means "all over my snowglobes" if this is in intimacy. :| Which if that's the case, then you have more to worry about than your mom seeing you do that. That money's not clean at all, broseph.
jackien1 6
dude WHY would you do that? seriously. 400 bucks and that's it?
shaytards_fml 9
are you Jewish?
Lounia_fml 8
Dude wtf?
mariazzz 5
I reckon... I have to admit though it did crack me up
tona01 16
hey i find that offensive
Jimboom 12
Ok. I know that was offensive, racist.. blaahh blaah blaaahh. But it did make me chuckle... just a little.
tona01 16
you know, i'm tired of complaining, you know how hard it is to be a mexican jew in the internet community
fthku 13
"Hard"? I can understand annoying and even aggravating at times, but it's not hard. It's just the internet. I don't mind Shaytard's joke, but I don't find it funny either. EDIT: Oh wow, looks like the thread was actually deleted. Oh well. This was directed at tona01.
jackien1 6
no prob. :)
shaytards_fml 9
are you Jewish?
brodiixx 2
a lot of people enjoy having money all over their naked body they are called strippers
blondebrunette11 4
give her $20 to never mention it again ;)
stevenmx86 8
A measly 400? It's unlikely but studies show money is capable of transmitting illness and disease. Unfortunately for you, op, if that was the case with one of your bills, $400 probably wouldn't even pay for the consultation...
fthku 13
It's not unlikely. You don't need a study to think about it, just reason - money goes from hand to hand. Anyway, OP, you sound weird and obviously deserve it. Were you naked when you did that?
stevenmx86 8
What I was saying is that it is highly unlikely you'll actually catch anything from them. And I stated there have been studies because I have not established myself as an authority on the subject so people have no reason to believe me (people can train themselves to deny anything).
mea_iloveskiing 26
I guess you just love the smell of money:)
palltaru 0
Or the feelof it
roshae_16 11
Which now smells like balls