Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML
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Top comments
emleahlie 0
Leave him and tell his ass to get a job.
perdix 31
Are you sure you didn't catch his long-lost twin brother, the one with the terrible accent?
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Comments (155)
sugarkiller_fml 6
OP tell him you two finished. You deserve a better man. Unemployment is ok. unemployment and cheating put together makes him a real douchbag!
DocBastard 40
So he's unemployed, lazy, stupid, and a cheater? Sounds like a real keeper.
ScarletBloom 14
He doesn't deserve you my dear. There are much better guys out there who can gives you tender care and concern instead of this treatment.
katt_is_here 24
Okey Dokey pendatik.
roxyelizabeth 3
Leave him. You deserve better than that!
kkmwong 11
This is what happened on two broke girls LOL. He obviously had a hot body.
Epikouros 32
LOL, someone read too much Zhuang Zhou, I guess... Luckily, there's no shortage of men in China. No need to settle for an unemployed cheating dumbass. BTW, what do you mean by 'structural issues'? Was your office collapsing after an earthquake?
abeye111 8
at least, its gonna be easy to find someone better lolllll!!!
clementine00 1
Toss him out this second and find yourself someone who actually has a job and really does love you.
uncleyuggles 0
****** also can't have affairs