Yes, time to move on. I suggest adding a multiple choice question to the list you ask on your first date. Something along the lines of "I come home unexpectedly early and find you in a compromising position with a strange girl do you: a) try to convince me I'm dreaming b) put on a fake accent and invoke an imaginary identical twin brother c) try to distract me by shouting "oh look, dolphins!" while pointing out the window d) pretend to be unconscious and then claim a passing stranger was attempting to resuscitate you."

Maybe everything is a dream and were all merely a figment of your imagination.

Now, get two random people to beat him up (not completely though, just till he's down) then, get them to tell him "you know what you did" and flash a couple fake gang signs :D

Argh, slap him and dump him

At least you realize what a loser he is now and not years down the road when you have made some life changing decision to be with him.