Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML
Today, a client walked into my store with a duck in her hands. I had to explain to her that she couldn't bring the bird shopping with her. We got a 1-star review. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, after I'd spent two weeks planning the perfect proposal at the aquarium, right as I got down on one knee, a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mom! That man dropped something!" Half the people around us started looking around for whatever I'd "lost" instead of watching the proposal. FML
Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a shit in the background. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house with his family. A kitten walked over to me with an engagement ring tied to its collar, along with a note that said "Marry Me?" I got super excited, only to find out that it was for his brother's girlfriend of 10 months, not me. We've been together 4 years. FML
Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML
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Top comments
iKaite 0
Well at least you will have the duck if your relationship doesnt work out. Duck me.
anniesaysbueno 0
actually OUR lives are ****** for having to read this pointless FML
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Comments (105)
humorizer 14
What about penguins? They're pretty cool, I think.
Mercenary 0
This find would have absolutely made my day! I'm all about bargain hunting for cheap, cotton filled ducks. And you think I'm joking.
der_Jabberwhock 0
Jackpot? Over a duck? How dull your life must be...
ithedarkknight 0
only in florida can you get a boring story like this... i would know i just moved florida...fml
irishdubr 0
Why the duck did the moderators put this thru
shaeto 0
thats not an FML. this is just an average occurrence.
archie246 0
What?! I don't understand.
lassofcheese 0
sorry you're not engaged yet. im sure the dust mites on the duck will console you when you cuddle with it later.
KO2 0
I'm not exactly following... I mean... are you wanting him to propose?... Did you think he was going to?... I just don't follow... whatever! However... Congrats on your duck score!
bucketgirl 0
Lady, I think you're my goddamned hero. I have been in the market for another giant duck plush myself, as the one I have (and had to pay $40 for at Winners, damn it!) is getting very lonely. DUCKS FOR LIFE!!!