Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer, I saw her battery was flat so I said, "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said, "Not yet." FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML
Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML
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Top comments
whymee55 6
brush your teeth or you will get old and die!
sunrisetosunset 0
Oh my God. And I want to be a dentist...
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Comments (211)
commonsenseppl 0
and that's why your a dentist and not a doctor
LittleBritt 0
LMAO! good one xD
uroborous 0
ho-lee- that would freak me right the **** out! I am so sorry for you
DocBastard 40
"Ma'am, you can spit now. Ma'am, spit. Ma'am?? Oh shit..."
shubang11 0
lmao
wwerulez14 6
I can only imagine how OP reacted to the realization that she died. My reaction would likely be, "Well... Shit.". Doc, you said you were a surgeon; has anyone ever died on the table while you were operating?
DocBastard 40
Unfortunately, yes. There is a very small cemetery with my name on it. It doesn't happen often, but it feels awful, even if death was imminent. It's the nature of trauma surgery - you get some great saves, but you can't save them all.
theannonymousone 0
I'm glad you do what you do doc, but I would really love to see a cemetery named DocBastard!
DocBastard 40
Ha! As long as it's a VERY small cemetery. My best save so far was a young firefighter who was shot in the abdomen. I repaired her diaphragm, stomach, and liver, I removed a third of her pancreas and her left kidney, and she walked out of the hospital in about 2 weeks. Those kinds of saves are rare (a few a year). But the ultimate gratification is when they say "Thanks for saving my life."
shubang11 0
8 is hot
cojo1013 3
You seem to be very observant.
BonniBonni 0
omfg. This had me laughing for a good minute. fyl and fhl.
mrjmaster1234 0
at least they died with clean teeth!!!!!
MURPHYCHACHO 5
When I was young and just a bad little kid My momma noticed funny things I did Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun I'd poison guppies, and when I was done I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head That's when my momma said What did she say? She said "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay" You'll be a dentist (Be a dentist) You have a talent for causing things pain (Pain) Son, be a dentist (Son, be a dentist) People will pay you to be inhumane (Inhumane) Your temperament's all wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Son, be a dentist you'll be a success I'm sorry, I just had to post it. Please tell me someone else thought of this song.
itsgabriellee 4
Isn't this from Little Shop of Horrors?
snagglepaste 0
No, no one did 48. :(
cupcakeyumzz 0
at least she died with clean teeth =D