Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
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Top comments
insertfmlhere 0
Maybe he'll come inside and wash your bed after you finish, except that could be a bad bed cleaner...
misspeg 0
hmm not really a fml. I think the window cleaner was actually being quite polite b4 it got any further!
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Comments (59)
Bloodknight 22
Having an audience can be fun... Trust me..
JoeDotPadilla 0
Close the window, mutuafucka!
EmreArslan 11
More like close the curtains... Next time
mysuckishlife 0
YDI for deserving it!
plexico 3
Did he give you three "thumbs" up?
mr_funny 0
at least he gave u thumbs up right? it wouldve been even worse if he was shaking his head and flashed the thumbs down...
superstephen4 5
17th!
chowyuk 0
a window cleaner for your house wow. well off much?
Cleo88 6
Who says she lives in a house? She could live in a high rise apartment/condo
srak 0
that's hot...and embarrasing
nicolearredondo 0
Teaches you to shut the blinds! :)
plexico 3
If he had yelled,"You suck," would that be a heckle or a request?