Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
Today, I’m a 28 year-old information security professional living at my parent’s apartment, and I preferred to literally hide under the bed for an hour, instead of facing some unexpected family relatives. FML
Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML
Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, my roommate finally moved out yesterday, so I got to experience my first night without the ticking time bomb that is his dogs. I still woke up at the exact time when they would always bark for no reason, apparently out of habit. For the record, that time is around 3 AM. FML
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML
Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML
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Top comments
cosicosei 22
call a friend over fora night or two! or get a dog, he'll keep ya safe :)
mzmush 2
Maybe if you get to know your neighbors it may help or accept the fact there are ghosts at your place and just welcome them
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Comments (111)
CRC_101 31
Wow, this is actually mine! :D And I never knew FMLers could be so universally nice :') I know, the username is... odd... xD I would be happy for you all to choose one for me! I imagine it'll only be a matter of time before I get used to it all, but in the mean time we can all laugh at my idiocy and terror. I actually was given a gun as a gift a while back, but I asked the giver to keep it for me. I thought about retrieving it, but I do believe it would be wiser to train a lot more with using guns well before possessing it, even if it is meant to protect me. I have a cat, but you can't really trust cats to stand up for you. x) I'm sure she would claw the dog's eyes out though; at least I can rely on her for that...
freshko21 6
I'm 23 and I've lived in my own home since 22. I know all about the scary sounds OP. Come stay with me and we can help each other out ;) .. That escalated quickly lol
slushyslime 7
Dog seriously , I take my doggie to the bathroom with me when I go in the middle of the night :P
Thr33to16 8
Just wait for the lights to turn on and off unexpectedly. That always gets me.
egrudy 9
Or you could be being stalked by a serial killer and that case are acting accordingly
vbmg152 19
You get used to it! I was on the phone with my daughter about 10 yrs ago, she said Mom hold on there's a burglar, I gotta get a knife! Call 911 if I don't come back! I'm 1000 miles away & scared! It was the meter reader reading her water meter!! Lol!! :-)
Bluejaywilde 10
Solution: keep knife and pepper spray on you.
spike7447 13
You should seriously get a gun!
Soobie 10
To all the commenters saying "Get a dog"....animals are not objects that you acquire to perform a function. They are sentient beings that require care and commitment. And I would hesitate to suggest a gun, either, lest a meter reader gets shot when OP panics at an odd noise.
Zolaugh 10
Can't count the number of times? I would think after you ran to it once, you would have held onto them....but that's just me
CRC_101 31
How so? The point is to add contrast with a toddler, and at twenty I'll be out of the "teenager" realm and into two decades of life. This being less than a month away, I find it to be more of an accurate picture that I am closer to twenty than simply being 19, which could give the image to some of being fresh out of high school. I am at the end of my second year in college. Although it is not much of a difference in time, six to eight months makes a large difference in mental maturity for many young people.