Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
Today, I’m a 28 year-old information security professional living at my parent’s apartment, and I preferred to literally hide under the bed for an hour, instead of facing some unexpected family relatives. FML
Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML
Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, my roommate finally moved out yesterday, so I got to experience my first night without the ticking time bomb that is his dogs. I still woke up at the exact time when they would always bark for no reason, apparently out of habit. For the record, that time is around 3 AM. FML
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML
Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML
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Top comments
cosicosei 22
call a friend over fora night or two! or get a dog, he'll keep ya safe :)
mzmush 2
Maybe if you get to know your neighbors it may help or accept the fact there are ghosts at your place and just welcome them
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Comments (111)
thosedogtags 8
Awwe, don't worry about it OP. It's not that you're not ready to live on your own, it just seems like you've got a bit of anxiety. You'll be okay, and just make sure your doors are always locked!
TheBrochure 22
That is the longest username I have seen at least all year.
Zen_Mei 17
Ah you'll be fine
Zebediabolical 45
After the second or third time, why wouldn't you just keep the pepperspray and knife on you?
whY402Jay 12
Buy a shotgun for home defense. You won't feel as frightened.
skyeyez9 25
What kind of suspicious sounds? Noises you hear outside, or do you hear things like actual footsteps in your hallway and kitchen cabinets squeaking open type of noises? Cause if it was the latter, I'd freak out too! If they are obvious "human noises" you either have a ghost or a squatter hiding in your attic. O.o
Nicholi124 10
The advantages of being an adult!
RtardSupport 2
Blast! you heard me? ... I mean... I'm sure it was just your imagination OP, stop with those late night horrors!!
noelasis94 18
Well Barney Fife detective like work surely won't make you an adult any faster.
dee_89 7
Youll be ok op you just have to get used to the new place . Good luck !