Sex, Jealousy and Intimacy: Jump on me, I beg you

Jump on me, I beg you

By RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

agreeclassic 37 255

vote type 1 10 728

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Sweet sensation

By Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

agreeclassic 22 546

vote type 1 4 384

By Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

agreeclassic 6 301

vote type 1 1 038

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

agreeclassic 45 163

vote type 1 5 709

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

agreeclassic 30 181

vote type 1 3 815

By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

agreeclassic 28 563

vote type 1 4 593

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

agreeclassic 15 351

vote type 1 4 340

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

agreeclassic 25 924

vote type 1 20 160

By asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

agreeclassic 58 810

vote type 1 6 743

Carry that weight

By Sally - 16/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML

agreeclassic 81

vote type 1 733

By Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

agreeclassic 52 134

vote type 1 7 384

JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

Comments

FallenAngel2 0

Monday 12 July 2010 19:51

pogo sticks r fun

Djtracid 2

Monday 12 July 2010 20:19

he bought it today and you already know it's taken your sex life? what a needy bitch!

CardoorTheBard 0

Monday 12 July 2010 20:32

Well, if it means anything to you, Rachel, I'd give you more heart and I wouldn't neglect you like that.

WiiFeY 0

Monday 12 July 2010 20:40

maybe it's cuz u suck at sex. think about that while u let him climb on top and do all the work while u just lay there.

alexthedude 0

Monday 12 July 2010 20:44

well if hea riding you... id consider having a LONNNNG talk to him.. O.o

weege 0

Monday 12 July 2010 20:50

u have a dick? that makes no sense

alicia_was_here 3

Monday 12 July 2010 20:52

i guess the pogo stick is more fun to ride. ;p

archerho25 0

Monday 12 July 2010 21:21

lol can I ride u?

triggerit 5

Monday 12 July 2010 22:13

pogo stick rules ...forever...

fuzz97 23

Monday 12 July 2010 23:01

You self-centered *****, quit bitching about your desires and let your boyfriend have fun.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

agreeclassic 337

vote type 1 220

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

agreeclassic 732

vote type 1 151

Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML

agreeclassic 828

vote type 1 150

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

agreeclassic 19 577

vote type 1 84 259

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

agreeclassic 25 709

vote type 1 7 678

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

agreeclassic 853

vote type 1 106